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  • The Sharpshooter

  • Sheerah's Sharpshooter 03/20/2001
    Reported by Sheerah L. Fisher on 16:52:47 03/20/00
    Sheerah's Sharpshooter
    WCW's got some major problems. Plus: Shane returns in time for Wrestlemania!

    It's that time again to read the Sharpshooter done "Sheerah Style", Sheerah's Sharpshooter! As usual, a lot has happened the past couple weeks, and I plan to mention the major points. However, I do have some news about the SSYW Awards, and the trivia. This is going to sound incredibly business-like, but there really isn't any other way to put it, so here goes! Due to unforeseen circumstances out of my control, the SSYW Awards results and Trivia will be postponed until the next issue of Sheerah's Sharpshooter. With that, on to the rest of my column.

    Well, I reported on it last time, so what the heck, why not report on it this week! It's Ratings Time once again! As always, the WWF won. This week the World Wrestling Federation got a 4.9 composite rating, off of a 4.4 for the first hour, and a 5.4 for the second, and a 7.8 share. World Championship Wrestling did the same as they usually do, they came away with a 2.1 composite, from a 2.4 for the first hour, and a 1.7 for the second, with a 3.1 share. Not much changed, as usual, except the fact that the WWF went down a .2. For the weekend ratings, WWF Livewire did a 0.7, with a 2.2 share, Superstars did a 1.1 with a 3.0 share, and Sunday Night Heat did a 1.9 with a 3.0 share. The same normal, boring ratings news, and there isn't much else to say about them.

    As usual, it's time for me to mention the past happening on WCW and WWF for the past week that I didn't write. First, I want to mention one of the greatest comebacks in wrestling history. That's right, I'm talking about the one, the only, Young Simba, SHANE MCMAHON! I've been wanting him to return for months now, and he finally did. So you could imagine that I was incredibly happy to see him back. Sure, he did maim his father, but you can't blame him. Besides, what else did you expect him to do? He's well known for being a Mama's Boy. This will probably symbolize the turn for the faces in the WWF. Either that, or Shane will join his father after a while. Even if Shane does bring his mother back, and turn the tides in the WWF, I have no doubt that soon after that he will turn into his wonderful heel personality. Honestly, I don't think I'll care what he does, just as long as he's on WWF television a lot. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and he'll start referring to himself as "Young Simba" again, and continue to say "Which way did he go? Ho ho, ho ho! Which way did he go?".

    It's official, I hate Paul E. Dangerously. He is an incredibly lame replacement for Jerry Lawler, and I truly hope that Vinnie Mac isn't really considering having him to commentary on a permanent basis. I'm telling you, Bobby Heenan would be the BEST announcer they could ever get. Larry Zbysco coming in a far second, and no one would come in third because the rest stink. I would like to see Lawler come back, but I don't know if that would happen. But still, the best move they could make would be to sign Bobby Heenan. Without a doubt, he is the best commentator around. Sure, he doesn't call the moves quite that well, but he's the funniest guy you could ever get! After all, it's not like any other announcer could call a move either. Every time someone says "Inzu Giri Kick", I cringe. JR isn't that bad, but Michael Cole is just annoying. The commentary the past few weeks have totally scraped the bowels of sucktitude (ya gotta love Edge and Christian sayings). There were only a few highlights, but they were all disses from JR towards Paul E. Like the time when Vince and Trish decided to do a live Porn Show on Raw, and when Vince picked up the microphone and Paul said "I don't want him" (or something along those lines). Then JR replied with "Well that's comforting to know" (or something along those lines). Okay, I may not remember the exact words, but still, it was great.

    Once again, it's time for the WWF to have another one of their smash hit pay-per-views! It's time once again for Wrestlemania, the Superbowl of all wrestling events! I have no doubt that it will be a great show, especially since it has a great card. As usual, I'm going to give my predictions for the PPV. First, The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin for the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship of the World! That's a pretty tuff prediction to make, but I honestly think that Austin is going to go away the winner. If he does, I have no doubt that at the next pay-per-view the main event will be Austin vs. Triple H for the World Wrestling Federation Title. The next match planned is Chyna vs. Ivory for the Woman's Title. I hope that Ivory retains her title, but I have a feeling that Chyna may win it. Of course, it's a bit odd to have a woman that has the size and looks of a man win the woman's title. Next is one of the matches that I think will be the most interesting, and that is Shane vs. Vince McMahon, with Linda in Vince's corner. I'm going to take a stab at it and say that Shane will be the victor, with the help of Linda McMahon. Another recently scheduled match is William Regal vs. Chris Jericho. I think Jericho has besmirched Regal long enough, and it's about time he paid for it! So, obviously, my pick is William Regal. Now lets move on to the Undertaker vs. Triple H match. I think that Triple H will be winning that one, because I can see another title push in Triple H's near future, or at least a push towards Main Event PPV matches again. Next on the list Big Show vs. Kane. I think that Kane vs. Big Show would be a pretty good feud, and I hope that they will build on it. As for my prediction, I have a feeling that Big Show would come away with a win.

    Once again, another WCW pay-per-view has gone by, and I didn't even realize that it happened. I realized it happened when I turned on Nitro and heard the bell tolling for DDP, and Schiavone and Hudson talked about WCW's Greed PPV. There were a few matches I found interesting. Like when Elix Skipper and Kid Romeo won the first ever WCW Cruiser Weight Tag Team Titles. They actually make a pretty good team, as far as WCW teams go anyway. The next was when Shawn Stasiak beat Bam Bam Bigalow. Stasiak and Stacy Kiebler make a pretty good team as well. I think that Stacy has the making of a fine heel. There was a match that I really don't like the outcome of, and that was when "Sugar" Shane Helms beat Chavo Guerrero Jr. for the Cruiserweight title. I just don't understand how they could take the title away from Chavo so soon. I'm sure some of you thought he had it for too long, but I thought he was in for a long title reign. Well, guess that didn't happen. As you probably guessed, I really didn't like seeing Scott Steiner retain the World Title, and putting DDP on the shelf.

    I'm sorry, but I really don't like Booker T. I can't help it, he just reminds me of every part of the WWF that I don't like. First of all, he has the Rock's moves. Then he does his little "Don't hate the player, hate the game", which reminds me of Triple H (although I'm pretty sure it's some sort of rap lyric). Now he unveiled his new "shut the hell up" saying, which automatically makes every wrestling fan think of Chris Jericho. Okay, it may not be a permanent saying, and he could've just felt like saying it then. But if he uses it on a weekly basis, that would be so incredibly sad. As I've mentioned in previous columns, he probably can't help his stupid gimmick, and it was just assigned to him by the WCW Bookers. So it's not Booker I have a problem with, it's the idiots that ran WCW when he ended up with the gimmick he currently has.

    I've previously made the Wresltlemania predictions, but now I'm going to make a prediction for WCW. WCW's Nitro next Monday is so totally going to rock! I just heard Eric Bischoff's phone call on Nitro, and it sounds like he has a wonderful day planned. It's incredibly sad to hear that next Monday will have the last WCW show that is going to be shown on Turner Television. I not quite sure what happened with all of that, but it totally sucks. Bischoff is back, and it sounds like he's planning a wonderful night, and now WCW doesn't have a place to air their shows. But back to the subject of next Monday. The Night of Champions is a wonderful idea, and I'm sure it's going to be great. Not only that, but Bischoff went as far as to invite any former WCW champion to show up, and not be afraid to be join in and wrestle. Since he did mention that, I wouldn't be surprised to see some familiar faces back on Nitro. Who knows, maybe we'll see Macho Man, Bret Hart, or even Hulk Hogan! This could also mark the comeback of some of the wrestlers that Scott Steiner put on the shelf. Next week could be the best Nitro in a few years, and I hope that they don't mess things up. Spring Breakouts always do seem to be better than the rest of their shows, so I would expect the same to be for this one. How amazing is this? I actually am looking forward to see a WCW show!

    The contract signing at the beginning at beginning of Raw was very interesting. It was signature WWF, which means that it ended with someone being beaten up and humiliated. I'm happy to see the Shane vs. Vince match, since it's a great angle, but did Shane have to be the one that got beaten up? Well, I still believe that even though Vince won the battle yesterday, Shane will win the war at Wrestlemania. Stephanie did a pretty interesting interview. Well, she tried to get Shane to see the light, but it just didn't work. It's sad that Shane just can't play nice with his family now, but as I previously said, I'm just happy he's back on WWF television. One thing I did notice while Triple H was giving Shane a brutal beating was that Hunter is a monster! I always knew he was a big guy, but really, he's huge!

    I bet you thought I forgot, well, I didn't! Now it's time for me to have my "Quote of the Bi-month". I don't think this was the best wrestling section for quotes, but there were a few good ones. Personally, I would love to just quote the entire interview that Ivory had on Raw, but I doubt that the rest of you enjoyed it quite as much as I did. So excluding that, there really was only one other quote I found worthy to be mentioned. It was the cruel remark made by Vince McMahon to his son Shane, "I will never, ever forgive your mother for giving birth to you!".

    Well, that's all I have for this week. Before I end my column, I just want to make mention about Ivory and how her interview totally rocked. Although Chyna came out and ruined it. One thing I noticed about the Ninth Wonder of the World is that she has toned down. I remember when she first came she had some monster muscles, but it seems that she's trained down. Of course, when she first came she also had a square jaw, and didn't have plastic surgery yet. With that, I'll end my column for this edition, so now for my Closing Remarks!

    ~Who on earth is Rhino?

    ~I hate the Dudley Boys, Edge and Christian so deserve the tag titles more!

    ~Who wants to make a bet that WCW will end up on FOX, or USA in the upcoming months?

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