A Legend RETURNS!
IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK! After coming from one of those family vacations, I'm back, and ready to roll with Sheerah's Sharpshooter! As always, I took another trip to PA, and this time spent my vacation in a cabin by a lake. Just my luck, it rained most of the time I was there so the lake was off limits. At least the cabin had a TV set, and cable, so I was able to watch some of the great wrestling show I seem to look forward to all week for. This week in wrestling was a great one! Hey, it was almost perfect! After all, a wrestling legend returned! But then there is that lingering shadow above the WWF, in the form of the Rock being champion, and that pesky Chyna going after Triple H. But I will touch more on that later
I've been away for two weeks, but that doesn't mean that I've forgotten the format of this column! Yes, I am still going to start off by boring you with the Ratings, and then move on to stuff that people care about. Last week, Raw scored a 6.2 overall rating. They got that with a 5.8 for the first hour, and a 6.6 for the last. Not too bad, I personally liked the show. The overrun even score a nice 7.7. For Nitro, which is still no where near the WWF, they got a 2.6 rating. They got that from a 2.8 for the first hour, and a 2.4 for the second. I actually didn't get to see much of Nitro, because Raw was pretty good. From what I heard, Nitro started a new format. They cut to a commercial before Raw, which they normally don't do. But that way they didn't have a commercial during Raw's Big Opening Interview, so they were somewhat still in the ratings race. Hey, it even worked. I think it was a good idea to do that, and they'll probably continue to do it.
One thing that happened while I was gone is that Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley turned into a good wrestler! Well, as good as women wrestlers go. No offence to most of them, but they really can't wrestle. I mean, there's Terri and Trish who weren't meant to be wrestlers to begin with, and then you've got the good ones like Ivory, Tori, Lita, and yes, even Chyna. I will admit, I was a bit amazed that last week. Stephanie did do a couple of actual wrestling moves. However, I did find it odd that she didn't use even one move that Kurt Angle showed her. But she did put on a pretty good show, for someone who basically just had their first wrestling match. Hey, maybe someday she'll be as good a wrestler as her brother, Shane! You have to admit, even if you don't like him, Shane has got some pretty impressive moves. In fact, he's the only one I know of that can make the Bronco Buster actually look like it hurts. Not only that, he's a pretty good high flyer for someone that weights over two hundred pounds.
It looks like the Right to Censor may get another member! This time, a female! I've been saying that Ivory should join them, since she's been known to call people "perverts". I mean, the part fits her perfectly. She'd talk about how vile it is to wear scantily clad clothing, and, well, call people perverts. But it looks like either Muffy, or another female that is soon to debut may get that part. Remember Muffy? Stephanie's personal trainer? Yes, she's the one we saw on Smackdown a couple of months back, for about three minutes during Stephanie's interview, and when Muffy began to talk they headed towards a commercial. Hey, maybe she'd fit into the RTC gimmick just fine and dandy. But still, I think Ivory would do a great job. I mean, come on, she's IVORY! The person who's infamous for calling Jerry Lawler a pervert, and figure out what B.B.'s name really stands for. At least the RTC is getting a female in there, because that's really the only thing they're lacking. Most likely this new 'gal will be feuding with Lita over the belt. I'm still hoping it will be Ivory, but chances are it won't. So, just in case Vince McMahon is sitting at his desk right now, sipping a cup of coffee, and reading this column, I've got a word of advice for you. BRING IVORY TO THE RTC!!
I will fight Benoit in the back, I will fight Benoit in the ring. I will fight Benoit in a boat, I will fight Benoit on a goat. I will fight Benoit when the score is tied, I will fight Benoit when he's a blushing bride. That right there proves that Chris Jericho has not lost his since of humor since he entered the WWF! Hey, I didn't like it when he feuded with Triple H, but Jericho is an amazing athlete and I enjoy his interviews, and matches very much. Too bad he did the J-O-B to Chris Benoit, yet another athlete I enjoy seeing very much. But Jericho ALWAYS loses to Benoit. To keep a feud going, you can't just keep having one man win all the time. So my prediction is that the Benoit/Jericho feud is either over, or very close to being over. I just hope that my prediction will be as accurate as Lawler's when he stated who was going to win the Benoit vs. Jericho match. Yes, his magical words, "Chris will win", came true! Maybe mine will as well!
I can't believe the WWF did such a thing! They had the Rock retain the WWF Title on Summer Slam! No one retains a title at Summer Slam! Especially when there are such great angles involved in the match. I mean, what Triple H and Kurt Angle have going on with Stephanie is a great angle. Although, it's entirely revolving around Stephanie, and not a World Title. But still, the Rock won? He didn't even really have a place in the match-up! Well, actually, he had the best place in the match-up, he's the champion. Rock has been champion for long enough in my eyes. He's not even involved in a feud, or even a storyline! There at least has to be some sort of feud revolving around the world title, that's the unspoken rule of wrestling. I would've liked to see either Kurt, or Triple H win the title. Both are great athletes, and Kurt deserves some sort of a title, and I think the World Title would do just nicely.
You know, I've just noticed something about Kurt Angle. He's like the WWF's Goldberg. Oh my goodness, now that I think about that, it sounds very scary. But nonetheless, he really is. Goldberg had a huge undefeated streak, and got in the world title scene toward the end of his first year in the wrestling business. Where as Kurt Angle had a large winning streak, and got in the world title scene toward the end of his first year in the pro-wrestling business. I find it odd, because both of them had similar things happen to them, and yet one sucks and the other is great. Yes, Goldberg sucks, and Kurt Angle is great. I guess that just proves that WCW can't do anything right. You know, maybe it's because Kurt Angle's winning streak ended before we got sick at the sight of seeing him. Although, maybe it has to do with the fact that Kurt is a good wrestler in the ring, and works wonders on the microphone. Where as Goldberg couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, and he couldn't wrestle himself out of one either.
Isn't it amazing how WCW tries to get a character to go over the way they want them to, but it just doesn't happen? This time I'm actually not talking about Goldberg, now I'm referring to Kevin Nash. It's amazing how he is teaming up with Vine Russo, and Scott Steiner, two of the most hated people in WCW, but yet he still gets a nice pop from the crowd. Even worse, every time he attacks Booker T, the fearless fan favorite World Champion, he still gets a pop. Is there something wrong with this picture? Kevin Nash has always been a fan favorite in WCW, even when he was a bad guy. I just can't remember a time when everyone hated him. I think it's about time that they resorted to the lowest point of getting heat. Yes, that's right, it's about time he totally dissed the crowd, and the crowd's town, state, sports teams, and heritage. Poor Nash, I guess he's just too lovable to be hated. I mean, when he was Nitro and he said that he didn't care about any of his fans, or basically he didn't care about anybody, and they CHEERED HIM! He just said "I don't give a BLEEP about any of you", AND THEY CHEERED!
One things for sure, you gotta love Muta! Actually, you've got to love both Muta and Madden. I'm still going with my point that Bobby Heenan deserves that color commentator's spot on Nitro, but the Muta/Madden commentary was wonderful! Good 'ole Mark translated the Japanese language so fluent, I would be surprised if he himself was from the wonderful country of Japan! Oh, wait, that would clash with his "I'm Canadian" comments. But the match that Muta did commentary for was a very good one. Anything that includes 3 Count has to be something good!
This is yet another thing I noticed about WCW. All these months, Vince Russo was for the New Blood, and now all of a sudden he has the assistance of Kevin Nash? Whats next! Is he going to bring Ric Flair out of retirement? Personally, I wouldn't consider Jarrett, or Steiner 'new blood', but they're definitely not Millionaires either, but they're also not old. Another thing is that Jarrett, Steiner, Russo, and Nash pretty much all hate each other. Goodness, Russo was the one responsible for Scott Hall's contract being ripped up. Then all of a sudden Kevin Nash joins them? I think that some angle will come into play that Scott Hall was in cahoots with them the entire time.
Kevin Nash is world champion! We once again have a champion we can look up to! God knows that no champion is good enough in the WWF, so now if we wonder over to WCW, we see that the Band is Back Together, and Kevin Nash is the World Champion. You had to love Jeff Jarrett's referee job too, he was so good at it! He called it right down the middle, until that little incident at the end. But hey, no ones perfect. Then the horrid deed happened, and just like those terrible good guys, they have to come back and ruin everything! Although, I'm glad that the Kevin Nash shower scene ended early, that was the first good thing Booker T has done in WCW for a long time.
You know what I hate? THE U.S. OPEN! And it has to come on right after a PPV no less, and the WWF gets booted from it's spot! Maybe this Viacom/WWF deal isn't so bad, at least they won't boot the WWF for something as stupid as tennis. These are the times that online Raw Reports are definitely needed. However, while reading one, I found something that I sooooo did not like. The fact that Stephanie wasn't there, and even worse, the fact that Chyna is getting back in Triple H's life! THIS JUST ISN'T RIGHT! Now, it's pretty clear that the Stephanie and Triple H marriage isn't going to last. The WWF said that they never had played out break-ups too good, so why continue the bad break-up storylines and include CHYNA? To play a good break-up, you don't have them just find another girl in a couple days. And if they must do it like that, don't make the girl be Chyna! I only see one good thing coming out of this, and that is the fact that Eddie Guerrero will probably be pushed into the Triple H/Kurt Angle feud. But the rest is going to be terrible. I can handle Kurt Angle stealing the girl from Triple H, I can handle Hunter being heartbroken. But what I CANNOT handle is Chyna and Triple H being back together on TV! What about poor Eddie? Without Chyna his "Latino Heat" gimmick is pretty much down the drain.
Well, it's time once again for my column to come to an end. I must say, I was impressed with Nitro, especially since my hero, my true paragon of virtue, the best wrestler to ever grace a wrestling ring, BRET HARTů RETURNED! It's great to see you back, Bret! I guess the band really is back together! Not only that, in his return he hit the back of my arch-enemy with a shovel, what a great way to return to WCW! I hope Bret keeps appearing on WCW TV, and this just isn't a one time thing. I doubt it is, but you never know with Vince Russo being in charge. Now I go over to the WWF, where I am extremely disappointed that the Rock is still champion, and even more disappointed that it looks like Chyna and Triple H may be getting back together. But I don't think anything can get me off of the high of Bret Hart returning! With that, I will end this week's column, so on to my Closing Remarks!
~Is it just me, or does Scott Steiner look like an idiot in his new hat?
~I don't know why, but I don't like Chronic.
~I've decided, WCW women can not wrestle.
~I've also decided that if the Rock doesn't lose the title by the next PPV, I will consider boycotting Raw from my TV set.