The Big Red Retar… errr…. ummm … Machine is back!
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLO! This is Sheerah L. Fisher, of Sheerah's Sharpshooter! WHOOW! I bet that made you so happy! Anyhow, this week there is a lot to talk about. Hey, Kane return, Kid Rock and the Little Rapper Dude were on Raw, and we saw some more of the Ric Flair/Vince Russo action on WCW! Before I go on with the rest of my column, first I have to fix a mistake I made last week. Last week I wrote a little bit about DX new theme music, and the music video for it. Well, I have zero knowledge on the subject of rap, and accidentally wrote that the singers of their song was DMX, when the singers are really Run DMC. That just goes to show how much I know about the rapping world! I'm truly sorry about that, but now that I got that over with, on to the rest of my column!
Ratings are in! Actually, ratings were in a while ago, but you're going to be reading this about five days after I've written this. Last week's the ratings were rather interesting for Nitro. It seems that the first rating that came out for Nitro didn't include the people from the west coast that watched it. Which resulted in a horrible rating, being a 2.3 composite, with a 1.4 for the first, and 3.2 for the second hour. Luckily, that rating was entirely wrong, and what they did get was a 2.1 for the first hour, a 3.95 for the second, which means they did a 3.03 composite. I didn't particularly like their show last week, but they did do pretty good in the ratings. Probably because there really wasn't any competition. Now, we head over to Raw which got a 7.1 composite, with a 6.8 for the first hour, and a 7.3 for the last! Wow, now they did great! I guess both shows did good though. I mean, Nitro did okay for having a show that I personally don't think was that great. There are no head to head ratings this week, considering the fact that they didn't go head to head (how novel!).
It's time to hear about some wrestling appearances! Chyna seems to have her work cut out for her, because she is appearing on the hour long season finale of 3rd Rock from the Sun. She did a good job on her first appearance on 3rd Rock, and she did pretty good with her part on her UPN movie. Next on her list is to meet Jay Leno on Tonight Show on June 16th. Next, on June 21, the Rock will also be on the Tonight Show. I guess Mr. Leno is getting into the wrestling scene a bit more. Hey, he fought Hogan and Bischoff with DDP by his side, so I guess that counts as being into it. But watch out, Jay, because Conan O'Brian will be having Paul Wight, the Big Show, on his show on June 22nd. A little bit more for Wrestling in the Media is that, as I wrote about a month ago, there is going to be a Hulk Hogan biography on A&E. They set the date for it to air on June 13th. I have high hopes for the biography. Hey, if they can make Jesse Ventura's life sound interesting, who knows what they can do with Hogan's!
You want it, I've got it! Yes, I have news of the situation poor Juventud Guerrera has been in. He was caught DUI (Driving Under the Influence). Of course, I had no idea what Driving Under the Influence was supposed to mean, so I asked someone. Apparently, it means he had been drinking and driving, but he wasn't that drunk (at least that's what I was told). He was caught DUI in the State College of Pennsylvania. People were thinking that he was going to do time, and, well, they were right. He got 48 hours in prison, and no deportation, in a plea bargain. I didn't think he's was going to do too much time, if any at all. Hopefully this won't effect him and his WCW contract, but I doubt it will. After all, WCW wouldn't be the same without "The Juice" at the microphone!
Guess what, Lita and Undertaker fans, now you can have fun surf' n the net and checking out your favorite wrestler's website! The Undertaker took the services of the WWF webmaster, and has a subsite off of the WWF. Lita obviously realized that wasn't the way to go, so she hired her own webmaster, and got her own domain name. As you've probably figured out, I don't like WWF subsites that much. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's is a great one, but most of them aren't that good. But anyway, you can go to the 'Taker's site here: http://www.wwf.com/subsites/undertaker/index.html. Lita (AKA Amy Dumas) has a great site. She even has a Girl's Corner, which in the future says will have Beauty Tips, and other stuff along those lines. Hey, it's even going to have commentary (which is more than I can say for the Undertaker's website). So Lita's is definitely worth checking out, and all you have to do is go to: http://www.amydumas.com to do it!
It looks like WCW fans aren't going to be seeing much of David Aquette on WCW, besides the 1-800-Call-ATT commercials. Evidently after Aquette's last match on May 7th, Dave contacted league officials and stated that he wanted close to one million dollars for more appearances! Aquete supposedly told WCW that he is giving them a lot of promotion. But WCW replied to that by telling him the PPV numbers were ok, but not anything special. David, here are some words of advice to you. Stars like Arnold S. (I will refrain from writing his last name for fear of a MAJOR spelling mistake), Bruce Willis, and Pierce Brosnan are worth a million. Heck, they're worth even more. But you have to realize, Aquette spends his extra time making Collect Call commercials. I'm not putting that down, but that doesn't really give you a big name. I hate to see Aquette go, because I personally liked him. He made a pretty good wrestling personality.
Wrestling is such a hot commodity, that even summer blockbusters get tips from them! In the wrestling news, people have been saying the Mission Impossible 2 has a lot of wrestling moves in it. Hey, they even said that Tom Cruiser gave someone a Rock Bottom! Of course, I'm sure he doesn't do it with quite as much flow, action, and charisma as the Rock does. Actually, Cruise probably butchered the move. Then again, I shouldn't say that because I haven't seen the movie yet. But nonetheless, It is pretty funny when you every once in a while see a wrestling move in a movie.
Appearently, Bret Hart recently conducted an interview, and had some pretty interesting things to say about the WWF, and Vince McMahon. In it, he stated that he wouldn't push his children to become wrestler, or even to watch wrestling. He stated something I found rather interesting about how the show went on after his brother, Owen Hart, fell fifty feet on that terrible day. He said, "I'm sure that if Vince had dropped (his son) Shane from the ceiling the show would have been stopped....Who is he, Vince McMahon, to speak for my brother? For them to wheel my dead brother past a bunch of distraught wrestlers and go 'you're on next'...to do that is such a rotten thing to do to the wresters. Vince McMahon...he's such an unsavory human being. I have trouble saying 'human being'. I don't think he has any integrity whatsoever. Wrestlers need a union...Even rodeo clowns have a union ... Let the wrestlers decide whether they want to have a union.". When you think about it, Bret has a rather good point there.
I'm really starting to tire of the Millionaire's Club. I mean, Kevin Nash being WCW champion again? Lets just say that it did sit will with me. Thank God he gave the belt back to the Nature Boy! Ric Flair and DDP really are the only good Millionaires in the club. The beginning interview with them was rather boring, in my point of view. But things starting heating up (once again, in my point of view) when Jeff Jarrett came out. Then when Russo came out, it was wonderful. Having the R&B security steal Beth and Reed Flair was a pretty interesting move, which I particularly liked. You know, one thing that just entered my mind is this. How can they call it the "Millionaire's Club", when they have Scott Steiner, and supposedly Scott Hall in it (from what I know, none of them are Millionaires)? And how can they call it "New Blood" when Sid Vicious and Bret Hart are in it?
The Rock and the Undertaker, now they would be a force not to be reckoned with. But, they are no force, and has Vinnie Mac pointed out, they're two individuals with common goals. We all found that out in the beginning interview. That's one of the things I like about Raw, they always have a killer opening interview. Triple H always gives his best each and every time he's on the microphone. The Undertaker is pretty good, and I've actually been kind of impressed with him since his return. But what is it with the Rock and the derriere part of the body? I mean, I don't think I've ever heard an insulting Rock phrase that didn't include it. The rest of his interviews are great, that just those parts, couldn't he just be a little bit more original when insulting his foes? Other than that, it was great, and the Undertaker vs. the Rock should be a killer Main Event.
Mrs. Page, or should I say Kimberly, has been very entertaining as of late. Trust me, it takes a lot for someone to get me to actually look at Kimberly without the word "slut" coming to mind. True, she may dress rather, well, immodest, but she's got a good gimmick going and some pretty nifty mic skills to back it up. The Segment on Nitro with her and Miss Liz was a classic. Hey, Kim got her air time, and Liz got back into the security of Russo lackys. Until Luger came and messed things up that is. I guess no segment is perfect, but if you added Russo in it as well, it would've been close to it.
Since there is a specific angle in WCW I am impressed with, I might as well mention the one I'm impressed with in the WWF! Which happens to be the Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Chris Jericho feud. First, I just want to add that I was very surprised that they had Jericho lose in his home country. The Stephanie/Jericho angle is very good, but one of the things that interests me the most is the fact that Test is somewhat involved in it. Actually, I never even realized that until Jim Ross pointed it out on Raw. Test has been taking orders from Stephanie, someone who he almost married. So maybe they'll add a little bit more on to the "Dumping of Test" angle in the near future.
What a night it was for Raw and Nitro! Nitro put on a good show, and pushed some of my favorite angles. Although, I think they had Ric Flair lose the title too soon. I would've rather see him fight his son, David, for the World title at Great American Bash, and lose it! For Raw, it was a great night because they had a return of one of their brighter stars. Of course, I knew right from the beginning that Kane was the one who was going around and beating the McMahon-Helmsley faction. To get a little bit off, but yet still on the subject of wrestling, Kid Rock and his little rapper dude made their way to Raw (as I stated before, I know nothing about rap, which explains the reason why I don't know the name of the "little rapper dude"). I can't really say I enjoyed their show. I mean, they bleeped out their lyrics! Anyway, Raw and Nitro were both great, and this week of Monday night wrestling was rather good. Well, it's time for my column to come to an end for this week. But as always, here are my Closing Remarks!
~Will someone PLEASE tell me, why does Miss Hancock keep coming out and dancing? It's not like it goes with an angle or anything.
~Ho-hum….. G.I. Bro?
~Why doesn't Bischoff pretend he's an airplane when he comes to the ring anymore? That used to be the highlight of the show!
~Kurt Angle… our REAL North-American hero! And don't you forget that!
~Welcome back, Goldberg, I didn't miss you!